im gay
i know
yea but for you.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
