the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
