I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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