So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
