I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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