Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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