angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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