Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
