i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
