I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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