She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
