Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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