when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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