Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
should my penis look like a turkey
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
