they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
