i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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