Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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