good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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