So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
