Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
