I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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