So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
