I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
