you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
