Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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