no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
