I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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