Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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