After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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