yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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