Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
