Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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