Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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