i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
