Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
