And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
there was a trapeze. enough said
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
