last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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