Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
