operation harelip BJ is a go
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
