tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
