That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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