Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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