You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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