love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
