another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
