Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize