Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
