What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize