We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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