I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
