Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
