in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize