Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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