So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
They have beer where we have blood.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
