do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
