Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
