i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
