she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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